


A Canvas of Emotions

by Akaruii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 12:35:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12035994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaruii/pseuds/Akaruii
Summary: For someone who said they couldn't feel anything, you sure felt a spectrum of emotions.





	A Canvas of Emotions

_Black Emptiness_

“(Name)!” an annoyingly chirpy voice called out. You sighed as you felt his arms wrap around your neck. “So, (Name), do you feel anything today? Do you feel happy to see me again?” the brunet asked as he mashed his face with yours.  
  
“Tooru, I told you that I don’t know. Will you stop asking me that?” you requested, but you didn’t bother with trying to slap him away.  
  
“Then do you feel irritation? Anything at all?” You sighed and moved his arms away.  
  
“I told you that I don’t feel anything,” you reminded him, your lips pressed tight. You let out a puff of air and turned to face him. “I don’t know what being happy, sad, or angry feels like, but I know it just happens. What more must I say for you to get it?”  
  
“I know you cry, but don’t feel sad. I know you smile when you don’t even know if you’re feeling happy or not. I get it, but I won’t give up. I like you, (Name), so I’m going to help you,” he stated, a grin gracing his features. You smiled at his generous personality, but really, you knew that even though he acted nice to you, he still would someday leave you. After all, you were only interesting because all you felt was an empty void.  
  
“Thanks, but you don’t have to try so much,” you insisted. “You’re already so busy with the amount of work the professors have given you, so it’s understandable if you don’t want to do it. I mean, you have to start planning out your life and look for a job with a steady income and worry about taxes—”  
  
“(Name)-chan!” He interrupts you. You paused in your monologue of negativity and looked at him. He pulled you into his chest; his warm embrace. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t want me to or not. I’ll always help you! After all, you’re my cute friend!”  
  
 _Friend._  
  
Yeah, that’s all you were and hopefully, it would stay that way.  
  
“Thanks, Tooru. You really know how to make a girl feel special,” you complimented as you shrank away from his hug. “I should probably go. There’s a lecture I need to attend in a little bit.”  
  
“Make sure to come to me whenever you need to, (Name)-chan!” You smiled and nodded shyly.  
  
“Just make sure you don’t overwork yourself like last time. I know you nearly fainted doing that project last week,” you chided him, frowning at the thought of the university student collapsing again.  
  
“You worry too much, (Name)-chan, but that’s what’s cute about you!” He winked and made his way elsewhere. You watched as his back slowly faded away before disappearing altogether. You looked down at your hand as the other held tightly onto your shirt close to where you heart was.  
  
“Is it even possible…?” you murmured softly to yourself.

_White Faith_

“(Name)-chan, let’s put your emotions onto this!” the brunet said as he placed a canvas in front of you. You blinked, your brows furrowing together as you tried to comprehend what he was trying to say.  
  
“What do you mean, Tooru?” you asked slowly, your eyes staring hard at the blank white of the wooden canvas. He grins.  
  
“Well, many artists draw with their emotions, right?” You blinked, finally starting to piece together what he was trying to say. Is Oikawa trying to get you into painting? “That means, we’ll be able to see what you feel like by painting! Try it! What do you feel?” The corners of your lip curled down. “Don’t you trust me, (Name)-chan?”  
  
“I don’t want to.”  
  
“Why not?! It’s such a good idea and—”  
  
“Shut up, Trashykawa,” you mumbled as you watched him fuss over how perfect his idea was despite how stupid it was. Well, he did go out of his way to buy the canvas… “Just once.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I’ll do it just this one time, but don’t ever ask me to again,” you repeated, clarifying the meaning of your words. The smile in his face widened as he shoved several brushes into your hands.  
  
“Let out all your feelings, (Name)-chan!”

_Purple Disappointment_

“Tooru, I don’t think this is going to go anywhere,” you said as you watched the brunet try to keep on a controlled face. You knew he wanted to laugh, but out of the consideration for his friend, he simply couldn’t hurt her feelings… Well, if she could feel anything and if she began to, he didn’t want it to be a happy feeling. Humiliation was nowhere near that. “Tooru, I think we should give up on this painting thing.”  
  
“N-No! Absolutely not! You’re doing great, (Name)-chan! Keep up the good work.” He managed to keep his sentences calm, albeit it sounded quite forced.  
  
“You lied. It looks horrible, doesn’t it?” you commented as you stared at the mess of colors on the canvas. It used to be such a pretty white before too. “You don’t have to lie about it.”  
  
“I-I’m not! H-Honest!” he stuttered. You knew him well enough to know that he tended to lie to make others feel better and this was no different.  
  
“To—”  
  
“Tooru!” a high voice rang. You sat quietly as the door slammed open, revealing a beautiful, long-haired girl. “So this is where you’ve been. We’ve got a project to complete and last time I checked, it requires two people to complete. I thought you cared about these things more than playing around with this girl. How disappointing,” she said as she waltzed in and grabbed his hand, yanking him towards the door.  
  
“Eh? But I’m helping (Name)-chan do something. Can’t this wait until later?!” he asked as he was pushed out the room, the door closing behind the two of them. You kept yourself from breaking the silence they left behind as you recalled the word the girl said earlier.  
  
 _Disappointing._  
  
You felt a painful sensation of your heart being squeezed and it lingered longer than it should have. It felt as if your heart ceased to exist, so it was painful to even breathe. You were surprised that you felt anything at all, but that was how you felt…  
  
You were disappointed that he wasn’t here with you anymore.  
  
You glanced at the canvas and dipped a brush into the purple paint.

_Blue Tranquility_

You yawned and rubbed your eyes. You blinked a few times to gain a clear image of the scenery in front of you.  
  
“Oh, did I wake you, (Name)-chan? Sorry,” a familiar voice apologized as a hand reached out to pat your head. “You looked really happy sleeping, so I didn’t want to wake you.” You blinked a few more times before you recognized the man to be Oikawa. You shook your head slowly, indicating you didn’t mind.  
  
“Did you need something, Tooru?” you asked slowly as you turned to face him. The brunet smiled softly.  
  
“(Name)-chan, do you mind if I borrow your lap for a bit?” You frowned at his question, knowing full well about his flirtatious personality. However, your sleep-deprived self didn’t really care either way.  
  
“Go ahead. You didn’t get any sleep last night, did you?” you guessed as he situated himself comfortably on the grass. He laid down on the soft grass, his head resting in your lap. You watch quietly as a look of bliss crosses his features.  
  
“Just as I thought, your lap really is soft!” You sighed at his open comment and you would’ve slapped him if he wasn’t so tired. If you were to look carefully, you could see the bags under his eyes. If you had to guess, it was from working with the classmate from earlier in the week. You sighed. He deserved someone better than her as a partner. Or better yet, as a girlfriend.  
  
You ran a hand through his soft chocolate colored locks. You knew the reason why he decided to come to this university. It wasn’t because of volleyball or anything like that. It was because his current girlfriend wanted to come here. You knew how dedicated he was after he learned the reason why one of his girlfriends left him.  
  
He couldn’t put another in the same place.  
  
But you knew this relationship wouldn’t last as it is. Oikawa didn’t have the guts to even spill any of his secrets to the woman nor did he ever get what he wanted. Now, she wasn’t an abusive person, but she tended to not care much about anything he did as long as it kept her happy. Rather, it was you who fulfilled this need of his. Ah, so this is what it feels like…  
  
As you sat on the rustling, soft grass with the breeze gently blowing by, you thought of only one thing.  
  
You wanted this moment of peace to last forever.

_Green Jealousy_

“Tooru,” you called out as you sat in your corner of his room. The said person halted in his actions and turned to face you.  
  
“What is it, (Name)-chan? Is it a present for me?” You stared at him blankly.  
  
“Never mind. You’re too full of yourself anyway,” you replied, waving the previous thought away.  
  
“Eh?! That’s not fair, (Name)-chan! Tell me! Tell me!” he begged as he pounced at you, his arms wrapping around your waist, refusing to let go until you told him.  
  
“You shouldn’t be doing this when you have a girlfriend,” you reminded him as you ignored his constant whining.  
  
“But you’re my friend! I can’t touch the girl I like indecently! I trust her not to get jealous,” he confessed, a warm smile gracing his features. You frowned as you watched him think about the woman.  
  
“Then, I don’t even count as a girl to you?” you inquired, casting your gaze elsewhere.  
  
“Oh? (Name)-chan, are you jealous? I know I’m pretty good with the ladies and all—”  
  
“I’m jealous,” you said. There wasn’t a single trace of hesitation in your words and it made the brunet panic. You were being serious?  
  
“(N-Name)-chan, I—” Seeing him in such a frenzy… You didn’t think you were ready to do such a thing to him and told a lie. After all, you were good at lying and if it helped, you’d be willing to use it.  
  
“I’m lying. Don’t take it to heart.” Oikawa lets out a sigh and chuckles.  
  
“Ah, that scared me! I thought you were being serious for a moment there. I wouldn’t know what I’d do if that were to happen.” He continues rambling about his inner feelings as you said that. You zone out as you he starts going off topic. To be honest, you wouldn’t have known what to do either. “…But if I didn’t have a girlfriend, I might just have fallen in love with you instead.” Your eyes widened.  
  
“That’s…”  _That's not fair._  
  
“Ah, I probably should’nt have said that! That’s a bit rude to my current girlfriend,” the brunet said as he slowly crawled off of the bed and picked up his phone. “Hey, speak of the devil! I can’t wait to see how happy she looks when she I give her this.” You noticed how happy he looked as he held a wrapped box in his hand.  
  
“I should probably start heading home then. I still have something to do,” you said as you got off the bed and made your way downstairs.  
  
“Bye-bye, (Name)-chan!” you heard him chirp from upstairs. You quickly slipped into your shoes and headed out into the cold November air. When you got home, you glanced at the canvas Oikawa gave you and stared at the blue and purple colors on it. You reached out and grabbed a hold of it and brought it into your room. You dug out a bottle of paint and poured the liquid content onto a palette given to you. You hesitantly dipped the brush into it and made a few strokes. You thought to yourself about how the color looked like in the moonlight.  
  
But this color matched what you feel and it looked horrible if not dealt with quickly.  
  
What an ugly green it was…

_Yellow Happiness_

You sighed as you loitered in the hallway, staring out the window. A mess of brown caught your eye and you turned to see who it was.  
  
“Ah, (Name)-chan! So this is where you were,” Oikawa said as he ran up to you. “I haven’t seen you since a few days ago! I got extremely lonely!” You merely nodded in acknowledgement. “Oh! I almost forgot.”  
  
“Hm?” The brunet quickly dug into his pocket and pulled at a familiar box. You noted it to be the same box he held that night. “You still haven’t given it to her?” Oikawa shook his head.  
  
“Nah, she didn’t like what I bought her, but now I don’t know what to do with it,” the man said as he held onto it tightly. You could see him forcing himself to smile.  
  
“Then just return it,” you suggested, looking away from him. He shook his head.  
  
“I can’t do that. It took a while to get enough money to buy it, so I at least want it to have some purpose. That’s why I’m giving it to you, (Name)-chan. Think of it as a friendship gift,” the university student said as he placed it into your hand. You just stared at the box, blinking in surprise. You looked up to say something, but before you even did, he had already left.  
  
“Idiot…” you mumbled as you opened the box, smiling as the necklaces glittered in the morning sunlight. There were two necklaces, each bearing half a heart with a pink gem on one and the other a blue gem.  You knew it wasn’t meant for you, but you couldn’t help but feel as if it was.  
  
You smiled softly to yourself as you held it close to your chest. This time, you felt the soft buzz of yellow in you.  
  
You… felt elated.

_Orange Warmth_

It had been a while since you last seen your cheery friend, but you didn’t mind. The longer you spent away from him, the less your heart raced. Of course, things weren’t the same anymore. You felt more color in your life, but it wasn’t enough. It was as if you were missing something. You ignored the throbbing feeling and kept on walking, an umbrella in hand as the rain pounded on it. You walked by the park on your way home and saw someone sitting on the swing. You recognized it to be Oikawa. You quickly ran up to him and held the umbrella over his head.  
  
“Idiot! You’re going to get sick!” you yelled at him, waiting for him to respond. He didn’t respond. Instead, he kept his head low, his band covering his eyes as his lips were pressed into a thin line. “Tooru, you should go home, so that you dry off. It won’t do you any good to—” You were cut off as Oikawa quickly got up and wrapped his arms tightly around you. You glanced to the side and saw him burying his face at the crook of your neck.  
  
“Sorry, (Name)-chan, but can we stay like this a little longer?” His voice was low and it sounded if it struggled to say anything at all.  
  
“Tooru, did she…?” You hesitated to say anything more. Just the mere tightening of his hold on you told you everything. Just as you expected, yet feared, the ties of love were cut once more for him. You could do nothing more than wrap an arm around him, the other reaching up to brush the locks of wet hair. Oikawa, despite in his current state, noticed something.  
  
You felt warmer than his past love ever was…  
  
He felt warm inside.

_Pink Love_

“Sorry, (Name)-chan, for making you stay out in the rain like that,” Oikawa said as he dried his hair with a towel. You shook your head, indicating you didn’t mind. You placed a mug of hot chocolate on the table in front of him.  
  
“Don’t worry about, Tooru. You have your reasons,” you stated as you took a seat on your nearby. “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong either, but you should take better care of yourself.” The brunet stares at you as you continue chiding him. You frowned when you noticed him spacing out. “Tooru, are you even listening?” Your eyes widened when he leaned in closer to you.  
  
“(Name)-chan, were you always this beautiful?” he asked. Blood quickly rushed up to your cheeks as they flared with a fiery red.  
  
“W-What are you talking about?”  
  
“You look really cute!” Oikawa complimented as he reaches out to caress your cheek. You slapped his hand away, thinking it was just in the spur of the moment. After all, you knew he often just wanted someone to be with him.  
  
“Tooru, that’s enough. You know better than to stoop so low that you’d even go for someone you don’t like,” you stated, quickly standing up and dusting yourself off. “I can’t love someone who doesn’t love me back, so that’s why, please find a different girl to push your emotional baggage on. I don’t want it unless you can give me something back.” You knew you were lying to yourself, but how else could you tell him to find someone better?  
  
“(Name)-chan…”  
  
“I’m sorry, Tooru. You know the problem I have. Even if I wanted to, I won’t be able to understand that happy feeling and I don’t know I should feel when—”  
  
“(Name)-chan!” you heard him call out as he reached out and pulled you down into his embrace, his face snuggled comfortably in your hair. “You can feel! All this time, you’ve convinced yourself that you couldn’t feel because you were scared of being hurt. I… I didn’t tell you this because I just wanted you to myself.”  
  
“What in the world are you saying? You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, so you—”  
  
“I know I’m being selfish! But can you blame me for being madly in love with you? After being dumped, I didn’t want you to start hating me, so I went from girl to girl and never realized how much I hurt you until you said you couldn’t feel anything. And even then, I couldn’t bring myself to tell you I loved you because I was afraid of hurting you even more…”  
  
“Tooru, I…” You found yourself wrapping your arms around him, holding him tight. “Idiot… You should’ve told me this years ago and maybe I wouldn’t have done that to myself.”  
  
“I thought if I couldn’t get you to love me again, it would be better if no one else caught your eye. I know it was stupid,” he murmured softly as he tightened his arms around you, never wanting to let go again.  
  
“Yeah, you were stupid. My heart has always been yours since years ago.”

_Red Lust_

“(Name)-chan, I love you!” you heard him chirp happily as he slung his arms over your shoulders, faces barely a centimeter apart as he stared hard into your eyes. You smiled and his energy and placed your forehead against his.  
  
“Yeah, I love you too, Tooru,” you murmured as you leaned in and closed in the gap between the two of you for a sweet, chaste kiss. Of course, being embarrassed, you pulled back almost immediately and avoided eye contact with him.  
  
“That’s not fair, (Name)-chan! I want a better kiss to make up for all those years we lost,” he demanded as he leaned in for another one. You didn’t know what to do, as your head was blank, so you went along with it. You didn’t mind because he finally yours and yours alone. You weren’t going to let go. Not now and definitely not ever.  
  
“I—”  
  
“One more!”  
  
“Isn’t that enough?” you asked as you covered your face, your cheeks redder than ever before.  
  
“No, I want more of you, (Name)-chan! I want everything and I won’t stop until I get it,” Oikawa says with a grin as he leans for more. You happily complied.

__**A Spectrum Of Colors**

A Few Days Later…

“(Name)-chan, what is this?” Oikawa asked as he pointed over to the covered item. You glanced over there and recognized it to be the canvas you painted on and smiled softly to yourself.  
  
“…It’s a secret,” you replied.  
  
“Eh?! Tell me! Tell me!” the brunet whined as he pounced on you for a hug. “I won’t let go until you tell me!” You sighed at his childish behavior, but you refused to give in.  
  
“Never,” you insisted, brushing off his arms as you got up and dusted yourself off. “Tooru, isn’t it time to head to the library and start on that project? It’s due in a few days.” You watched as he began pouting, merely wanting to spend more time with you. “And no flirting in there either. You know how I feel about that.” He sulks.  
  
“…Fine…” You smiled as you went to your closet and pulled out a jacket. “I’ll go get the supplies,” Oikawa says as he heads out of your bedroom. You waited until he left before walking over to the aforementioned canvas and pulled away the cloth blocking your vision of it. You smiled down at the picture you painted, using the various colors of your emotions.  
  
“Ah, I shouldn’t keep him waiting,” you mumbled as you covered the painting once more and put on your jacket. You quickly walked out of your room, but not before looking back once more with a smile on your face. You flicked the light switch off and closed the door behind you.


End file.
